Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it - er melt again

Went to Fort William today, and it SNOWED!!!!!

I would have taken a photo to post, but it wasn't settling by the time I got back to Ballachulish and had access to a Camera. But I did make sure I collected some in my coat pocket to bring home as proof that there was snow...

If it snows here properly I promise to post a photo, unless I'm too lazy.

p.s. I am unreliably informed that 5 exclamation marks are excessive, and that anything over 3 are the sign of a madman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Christmas

Well I made it back to the UK, it was a long and grueling journey where I absolutely didn't spend 3 days on a ship eating extremely well followed by a day and a half on a tropical island swimming in the beautifully warm clear sea.

Back in the UK I've been very busy so I apologise to everyone I haven't met up with. I've been to Devon and some friends there helped me realise that I prefer St Helena to Devon, where it's a little warmer this time of year, and the DYL at Exwick Heights are not a problem.I haven't re-roofed Mum's Car Port s expected as the online supplier (www.edecks.co.uk) who promises 2-3 day delivery took over a week and only managed to deliver after the order had been cancelled. However thanks to Wickes the garage has been made watertight again.

I'm now in Scotland for a break from rushing around but back to England briefly in the new year for a hectic run around before heading home again.

p.s. sorry Christmas greetings are late, but I've been busy, and lazy.

It's Cold

It's a bit chilly this morning, my computer says it's only 16C, and the 6:30 am weather [forecast] report confirms this.

Also looking at my computer, it says -1C for Somerset, that now sounds as bad as, say, -8C, which it is in Ballahulish, or -200C which it is in deep space. Anything below about 12C is meaninglessly cold.

What say I don't leave and you all come here? It's nice and warm, by comparison.

A First

I have been here for 10 months 29 days, and I'm only just having to charge my mobile phone! In fact I haven't charged it since 4th Jan, or possibly even before!

Hows that for battery life?

p.s. for anyone who hasn't twigged: Mobile phones haven't been invented yet, so the batter probably died about 11 months ago and I didn't notice.

p.p.s. for those slightly cleverer people, no I don't expect it to still work when I get back, but I'm hoping it'll make it easier to get phone numbers if I need them. Will phone boxes take Saint money??? I have lots of 5p's thanks to Dave H.

Leave

Well, the RMS has just left for Ascension and is due back Monday or Tuesday, then Tuesday afternoon I'll be on the RMS heading for Ascension :)

I have my ticket, cabin A23 will be home for a couple of days - it feels really weird to think I'll be going alone, which is even weirder than feeling weird in the first place. It feels like when I came out I was in a large group of friends, even though most of them I'd known for less than 2 days, heading for Ascension will probably be the same, it's just that I don't yet know which group of friends I'll be travelling with.

I look forward to finding out!

Update:
I've just re-read what i wrote and it's weird. I'm sure I wasn't that relaxed when I came out...
photos and old news: the journey

It was all a dream

I had a bad dream last night. I dreamt I was stuck on a tiny island in the middle of nowhere and the only way off was to wait for a ship which went backwards and forwards between Cape Town and, for some reason, Scotland (I think it must have been Ullapool).

I woke up and for a moment couldn't remember where I was. Then, thank goodness - I'm not stuck on a tiny island, I'm on St Helena.

Phew.

Panic over.

What a day to forget the camera

Diving yesterday, and about 5 minutes of getting in there, right in front of us was a Turtle swimming through the water, magnificent. But what a shame we didn't have a camera :(

It looked a bit like the photo here: http://www.animalspot.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Hawksbill-Sea-Turtle-Photos.jpg

I know someone will ask what sort of Turtle (the photo is a Hawksbill, apparently). Well it was a big one.

What, you want more detail on what sort of turtle? Well the latin name is biggus turtleus.

Dive and Whales

Went Diving yesterday, good dive. but most spectacular was we saw 2 humpback whales really quite close.

Unfortunately I didn't have my camera, but Anthony did. Check out

http://www.facebook.com/SubTropicAdventures

you don't have to be on facebook to look at the photos!

If all goes well

I'll be back in the UK in a month, virtually to the hour the plane should be in UK airspace, if not touching down.

Looking forward to seeing snow again :)

Dave and Roads in the Press

If you pretend it's Sunday at 91:30 then I'm still in the weekend, sort of...

Over the last few months we've been in the papers a bit, check out the Sentinel:
http://www.shbc.sh/L2_sentinel_about.html
25th October, page 9; 6th September page 5

and the Independant:
http://www.saint.fm/Independent/index.htm
7th September, page 3; 2nd November, page 6

I'm also hoping both papers will carry something this week, and the Sentinel have promised another short video about our traffic lights.

I don't seem to have received anything for the score of 94% dissatisfaction with the Roads. I really do wonder who the 5 people who are satisfied are. The roads are in a state and it's pointless pretending their not.

So what are we doing. Well I did start drafting this post last Friday and called it 'a Good Week' well it was, but now it's very very late on Sunday (so late I've been to work 3 times since dinner and it's nearly next weekend) I can't quite say the same.

Last week we were gearing up to start a Summer program this week. We had a reasonably positive works meeting to explain the new teams and the reasons behind us doing what we're doing. We setup the signals as a test, we had things ready for a start this week, and our JCB driver passed his test (well done Lynton). In short I went home on Friday thinking we were ready, Monday morning we'd be able to proceed with the plan and we were ready.

Now it's Wednesday (ok, I'll admit it, it's not Sunday) and things haven't quite gone to plan, but there are no disasters. One of the biggest problems is that the Chip Spreader works (and that's a problem???), this means that instead of 3-400m2 a day, we can do 4 times that, and suddenly the 200m range on our signals isn't enough. With the chip spreader we could have done with a closure, which we don't have.

Anyway, things are looking up. I think we're going to get there, and with the Chip Spreader working we may need to massively revise our ambitions (suddenly the ambitious programme doesn't look so ambitious). Another Bitumen tanker arrived on the RMS yesterday, and hopefully will come ashore tomorrow so we can start using it early next week. My GIS system is up and running (see www.qgis.org), I attended EXCO (think Cabinet) yesterday morning and they were supportive of the proposals, although I now have extra pressure to deliver on the publicity side (hence hoping something makes the papers this week, and then next week, and the week after). So busy busy, but good.


p.s. I found this photo online, I don't think I'm in any of the others, but maybe I will be soon... http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=526436100704686&set=a.526435927371370.135931.258607090820923&type=3&theater

TV and Lights

I haven't posted much recently as not a lot has happened, although i probably should have posted a bit more this last week as things are starting to happen.

It's too late for me to do a full update now, but the Traffic Signals we got working earlier in the year were out on the road today. For the First Time in History traffic on St Helena was under signal control. I liken that to the first time a plane lands (sometime in 2015-16).

I'll leave you with a link to a TV webcast, which is actually pretty good, if inaccurate in a few places (most journalism is inaccurate somewhere) http://www.shbc.sh/L3_video_121101_roads_programme.html and a promise to give another update over the weekend.

The Problem with Cash

In a world where Credit Cards are useless, Cash Machines are somewhere in the future and Contact-less Payment isn't even a dream, Cash is King.

Now I've lived with this for getting on for a year with no problem. I've come to accept that everyone has a couple of hundred quid on them and a pickpocket could make a fortune (but couldn't spend it without being caught!), I may have even blogged on the matter (I can't be bothered to check).

But, there is a problem. How many of you have put a fiver through the wash? Or a tenner? even a twenty? I bet most of you have, maybe even one or two of you (the richer ones) have washed a fifty? After work I quickly popped home to turn on the washing machine before running down to town. Half way to town - where did I put that roll of notes? I've just washed best part of £150!

Back in the UK I never had that much cash, and would remember where I put it if I did, and you just don't wash credit cards (do you?). Here £150 doesn't last long if the car needs diesel (it does, and I don't know if the garage will take wet money) and a bit of food, and breakfast... If it had been £500 I'd probably have remembered it before turning the machine on...

Perhaps it's lucky our money laundering laws are bit outdated - I wouldn't want to go to prison.

Update Tuesday

Well I had an odd look at the garage when I paid in damp notes, but they did accept it. Lucky it was the paper which was still wet - and not the Ink!

The Day I stopped Smiling...

...hasn't happened yet.

Back in January 'the day i stopped smiling' I reported I was only smiling evenings and weekends. I think my smile rating is going up rather than down. Just caught myself bouncing into the kitchen as I realised I didn't have to wait for my tea to be cooked as I'd already put it in.

My memory may be going a bit wonky, and I think my memory isn't as good as it was.

Oh and I seem to have more trouble remembering things.

Christmas at Work

Well they say you have to start planning for Christmas early, but nobody said you get presents in August as well!

Today the JCB arrived, we're still not sure how it got here from the UK, but it did, and it's here, and it works. All it needs is an orange light and some number plates.

Oh, and a driver... Now for some serious training, but not for me!

A Misquote

For those of you who read the local papers online (or for any local readers who buy them), I think (hope) I have been misquoted!

In the Sentinel, I am quoted as saying "The only thing we should have to do is catch a rock", I certainly didn't mean that, I think it's just an accent and interpretation difference. What I hopefully said was more along the lines of "The only thing we should have to do is if they [the fences] catch a rock".

For those of you who don't read the local papers, but are interested check out yesterdays Sentinel:
http://www.shbc.sh/L2_sentinel_about.html page 5 (ignore the photo, its old)
and today's Independent:
http://www.saint.fm/Independent/index.htm page 11

There is also a webcast news bulletin from Wednesday on the SHBC website, luckily the archive doesn't work so you can't listen!

Today I have been mostly hanging on the end of a Rope

Sorry, I lied - but there is a half-truth.

Today I had to take a look at a Cliff Ledge above Jamestown, having been advised by my Rockguard Team that it was probably accessible without Ropes, they suggested that I was probably better off using one. Now, in the UK, I  would not be allowed to go anywhere near a harness, rope and all the metal clip gizmo's without some proper training, a fully qualified expert supervising and goodness knows what else. In St Helena, you'll be pleased to hear, it's much the same. I had an extensive safety briefing (lasting less time than it took to put the harness on), from 2 of the 4 best Rope Experts in the Country, and then was talked down the cliff to the ledge we were looking at with one of them following on another Rope.

Spending a few minutes, or more, doing the inspection and taking a lot of photos I then had to climb back up. Now in the UK (when I've done rock-climbing for fun) they don't let you use the rope to get up, but here I was given a special tool, called an Ascender (I think), which I could use to pull myself up the rope. It was very much like abseiling, but going up. Now THAT's the way to climb, forget this hole finding handholds business, use a rope to walk yourself up the rock!

The things being a Roads Manager forces me to do. Have I mentioned that I Love My Job?

Ok, so I'm not red, the rope wasn't blue, and it wasn't tied in a bow at either end, but you get the picture (if you don't try refreshing your browser window). Oh, and the buildings aren't that small/I'm not that big. If you're unsure how this relates, check out the photos at http://www.malpas.cwi.sh/030.html (and you'll realise I didn't go very far!)

Mashed Potato

Picked up post today, for the first time in quite a while. And, thanks to an unexpected parcel, I now have un-lumpy mashed potato!

Some say the best invention ever was sliced bread, I say it's the metal potato masher!, well kitchen wise anyway; obviously simple things like the wheel, car, internet and AutoTrader.com are better than sliced bread or metal potato mashers!

In fact I can think of lots of things better than sliced bread, even kitchen things - ready roll pastry, gordon's gin bottles, kettles, ... am I rambling now?

Diving Cheddar Gorge

Today we dived off Red Island - and the reef there looked just like Cheddar Gorge scaled down. Made me feel like I was skydiving - but without the terror of having just jumped out of a perfectly good aeroplane (although I guess I had just jumped out of a perfectly good boat...)

A more successful dive than my last one, although technically my last dive was successful - it was the one before that wasn't. My last dive lasted 5 minutes, whilst I went down to pick up a weight belt. the previous dive lasted a sensible time, but then I dropped the weight belt...

Back to skydiving - or perhaps one of those mission impossible films where the hero jumps and then the rope and fancy winch thing catch and slow them just before they smack into the ground/security guard's head/lost treasure. I'm getting quite good at that. Starting a few metres above the sea floor, and dropping down before catching myself just before I hit the bottom, without disturbing the silt/sand. Little things and little minds I guess. I wonder if that's how Curiosity felt landing on Mars? Oh, yeah Robot. Doh!

Quiz

Q: What do you get when you put 6 people who aren't very good at pub quizzes together?
A: A winning quiz team!
True!

Last night we went to Pub Paradise for a quiz - hoping not to be last, but fully expecting to be in the bottom 3. We knew we were doing ok as we were marking other teams and so saw their scores, but we weren't doing great.

By the time the results were announced the pub was quite noisy, they started with the booby prize, but because we were quite a way from the speakers we couldn't really make out what was being said. Then we heard our team called out, and because I'd sort of put the team together I was sent up to find out why - turned out we'd won!

Dave's Days

Yesterday I have been mostly buying Pizza and Onion.

Went to buy food because I felt I was running low. 3 Pizzas and 8 onions were purchased, my kitchen is now fully stocked!

Remote? short of supplies? Pah!


Oh, and I don't like Reds. For those of you who don't know, Reds are very similar to Oranges, except they're Red, and I don't like them because they're difficult to eat.

Survival

The RMS has returned from Dry Dock, a day late, but still it's returned. I assume it has brought food - particularly the major food groups which we have run out of whilst the RMS has been away (Pizza and Onion).

Honestly, I stocked up so I wouldn't run out, but the only things the shops really ran out of were pizza and onion - and as I've posted previously, the onion was ordered, but not delivered. The propaganda was all wrong.

The Power of the Internet

Firstly I'd like to say that whilst I have lots of logins to various parts of the online world I don't, knowingly, use any logins for business and pleasure. I have at least 4 Google logins - one for work, one for this blog, one for Youtube and one for home.

Imagine my surprise when viewing a Kakuro (like Sudoku) website at home the usual 'learn keystage 3 maths' advert has been replaced with an advert for www.oriental-crusher.com (note for parents: this isn't some weird porn, but an advert for a company in China making quarry plant)

Now it's true that I have been looking at websites at work for crushing plant, and oriental crusher do seem to sell them. But HOW DID GOOGLE TRACK ME DOWN? It's Scary, perhaps we should all be a bit more paranoid.

Radio Star Take 2

I've just returned from my second live interview on national Radio. A fair performance I think, but no doubt I made a boo-boo which someone will point out when I go into work tomorrow.

Half an hour of me talking almost non-stop, quite fast (except when I paused to allow the interviewer to ask another question) and I only covered a third of my notes. It almost feels like I know what I'm talking about! (I hope it sounds that way as well).

I have been meaning to post more often, but feeling a little too lazy. Sorry. But here's some more thoughts on my Job.

All throughout my career I've been looking for the next step on the ladder: Engineer, to Acting Senior Engineer, to Senior Engineer, to Principal Engineer, to Area Traffic Engineer, to Neighbourhood Team Leader, to Roads Manager. I've always opened Surveyor (magazine) at the back first (for the job adverts) and thought about the 'Highway Network Manager - Edinburgh c£80k pa' type role I may eventually get to. After the last RMS in June I received 3 Surveyors all together and looked through the various adverts in the back (including the one above) and thought, naah, don't want that.


Over the weekend I looked at a few websites to see what jobs were out there in the big wide world (well the UK) and only came across one that really sparked any interest: 'Infrastructure Engineer - Shetland  c£25k pa'. I actually really like my job. No, I REALLY like my job. It's jolly hard work, and it gets stressful, and I can see a whole host of problems ahead, but it is by far the best job I've ever had and I suspect the best job I ever will have.


I'm actually dreading the end of my contract when I'll have to get a 'proper' job again. Maybe I'll apply for an Operatives job in the Roads Section...

Another Dive

Another Dive today, Long Ledge again so a Dive I knew (see my previous post diving-and-dolphins). Used my new wetsuit and mask for the first time which was great J for the first time when I got out the water I wasn't cold, and it was warmer in the water too - amazing what a well fitting wetsuit will do.

Visibility wasn't too good today (well not as good as last time) but I was more confident and aware of where I was in the water and so I went into the little cave to see the HUGE lobsters!

On the way back we found some Dolphins, but they were keeping well out of camera shot so I only got photo's of empty sea L

Road Signs

First some History:

• Road Signs were invented a long time ago, I remember Dick Whittington looked at a Road Sign on the way to London, and he was walking because cars hadn't been invented. They're that old!
• In the 1960's the UK did some work and basically came up with a brilliant system that 99% of those of you reading should know quite well. This was introduced in 1965 and has been modified over time.
• In 1968 a lot of the world signed the Vienna Convention on Road Traffic, they took 9 years to actually introduce it though.
• For some reason the Vienna Convention didn't follow the system that the UK had, I think they must have been jealous, therefore the UK didn't Sign.
• In 1995 St Helena produced their Road Traffic (Signs) Regulations, these were amended in 2002,  http://www.sainthelena.gov.sh/data/files/resources/723/Road-Traffic-Ordinance.pdf, they sort of follow the UK sign designs, but don't really.

Back to the present day (Well last Wednesday)

The signs are a mess. Many signs in use aren't in the regulations. Parking signs are huge and take an hour to read, they're also illegal if they're landscape. Many signs in the regulations are used incorrectly (or the regulations are written incorrectly). The regulations say what you think they mean, but because of the way they're written they mean something completely different. As an example our equivalent of a double white line should mean no overtaking. What it can actually mean is that if you are overtaking as you pass the beginning of the line, you have to stay on the wrong side of the line until it finishes, you're not allowed to cross it in either direction, but you are allowed to be on the wrong side of it!

In the photo you can see our Traffic Lights. This is a photo of the first time Traffic lights have been in operation on St Helena, as far as anyone knows, ever.

They were bought a few years ago, but nobody knows if they were ever turned on. Recently we have been unable to make them work, until we had a phone call from the manufacturer offering to help us sort the problem (that's why I'm on the phone, typically they worked first time, without actually needing any help, which they hadn't any of the million times we'd tried previously).

So now we have traffic lights - but wait! there's no requirement in the law for people to Stop at Traffic Lights! We've never needed one before! 

A little over a week ago

I was in a Highway Authority meeting and we were talking about parking, we started talking about signs and the fact that our current signs were quite big, I mentioned that I thought we should be following UK standards a little closer, but that idea wasn't liked. Jamestown does not want to look like a suburb of London, and wants it's own identity, the current system of Road Signs is part of that identity, but needs updating to make it suitable (and more understandable for the international Tourists we hope to attract).

Fast Forward to Last Week and the coming Months

Someone has to design new signs which suit St Helena AND are fit for Purpose. How many people (currently alive) can say that they have designed (or even redesigned) a system of Road Signs for a Country (however small)? Not many, double figures probably. I hope to join that Club J

The amazing thing is the liberty that is given to the system designer. UK signs are defined by x-height and stroke-width. With borders and corner radius specified in detailed technical manuals. Specialist software has been developed to aid Engineers in producing sign designs which are correct to the regulations. Whilst wanting to have a professional set of road signs we can't be having special software just for St Helena.

I've been drawing Road Signs in Word for many years, they look about right for visual purposes, but wouldn't meet the legal requirements. I now plan to define the signing standards in terms of Font Height and border widths in Point Size. Colours could be to an RGB standard. Easy to draw on any computer package such as Word. What do you think?

p.s. In the photo I have a thick coat, it's cold - I haven't got fat!

Um, Random Stuff

As I haven't posted for a Fortnight I thought I ought to provide an update. Maybe this is how it's going to be now - lots of posts in the first 6 months, but slowing off as everything becomes 'normal'.

Highlights of the last 2 weeks:

• Scouts went to Ascension and came back, I didn't go with them so no exciting news.
• The RMS has now gone back to Cape Town for Dry Dock, we next see her in August (and haven't seen her arrive from Cape town since mid June)
• We have no onions, apparently this time of year they're all imported, and someone messed up the paperwork so they weren't allowed on the last RMS. I like Onion so not very happy as my stock has got quite low.
• I haven't been diving again, but have got a wetsuit etc. It's a bit short, but fits well otherwise, looking forward to seeing if it's warmer than the ones I've been borrowing.
• Lots has happened with work. Maybe I'll do a whole post about that separately, it is kind of Novel.

Twas a Cold and Frosty Morning...

Well any self respecting weather system would have produce frost - it is middle of winter. I don't care that it was probably about 15C, it was cold and I was wondering why I was up at 8am. Well actually, I wasn't wondering why I was up, I was going Diving, but I was thinking that it was a daft thing to be doing on such a cold day.

Yesterdays dive was at Egg Island, quite a long way down the coast, further than I'd been before (I think). From the boat you could see the Horizon quite distinctly, and unlike the normal horizon (which is pretty flat) it was Jagged. To start with it looked like a flotilla of small boats, then when I realised they disappeared and reappeared I realised it was waves. Big Waves. Very Big Waves. Always looking at the same coastline (Jamestown) it feels like the South Atlantic is quite a clam peaceful ocean, but seeing those waves showed that actually we're lucky the island Shelters the waters we use.

Stepping off a Cliff

Anyway, the dive was different from other dives I've done as it wasn't really a bottom dive. We started in the shallows right by the island and then moved out into slightly deeper water, then came to a small Gorge, the bottom of which was about 25m, as I'm only a beginner I'm only qualified to 18m so I didn't follow the others down and swam over the top. Then a little further on we got to what looked like the end of the sea mountain forming St Helena (I suspect it wasn't). I was already at 18m and couldn't resist standing on the edge of the cliff and stepping off J.

There were lots of Cameras on the dive - hopefully I'll get some photos to post. For now you'll have to live with this one of the RMS.

Dave said 'let there be stew'...

... and there was stew :)

What Time is it

Mr Wolf?

Sorry, couldn't resist. I'm sure it was a party game when I was younger, but really can't remember how it was  played.

Anyway, what time is it? Do you know?

Last week sometime I was having a conversation about timekeeping and how we have a slight problem with people leaving early. Later on I went out the office at 3:55pm (by my watch) to discover everything was deserted, everyone had gone home.

The following day I commented on this, and it then became apparent that the time is relative. Time is defined by clocks, and clocks go wrong. Battery clocks (most people will agree) gain or lose fairly consistently, so I'm used to working by my watch and cooker clocks along with any other mains powered clock. Well, my watch (waterproof to 100m) broke a few months back in the swimming pool, I got it going again, but I know it was reset here, how I decided what time it was I don't know. All mains clocks are equally dodgy (see The Day I Stopped Smiling).

So how else do you know what time it is? ahh, computers and the radio.

The Radio here is run by Mike. Whilst it's a perfectly entertaining commercial radio station I think they have the same slight issue with timekeeping as the rest of us. By my reckoning the 7am news (the only one I reliably hear every weekday) varies by anything up to 5min when it starts, and there certainly aren't any Pips. The internet should be reliable. But at work the IT security seems to have locked the clocks, so in one office they're all about 8minutes out, and in my office it seems to be in the region of 20seconds out. I've calculated this by looking at http://wwp.greenwichmeantime.com/, which I hope is accurate, but disagrees with my home computer by 3seconds...

Anyway, is the time absolute or relative? On Thursday I went to a friends house for a curry, the invite was for 5pm, I arrived as my watch said about 5:30pm, and I was not the last. The last person as my watch was saying about 7pm, but that's quite normal. 5pm, on the dot, lasted for about 2 hours.

A meeting scheduled for say 9:00, may start when my watch says 9:10, even if everyone is there by 8:50. Perhaps the answer is to specify not only the time, but the clock? This would at least be an accurate definitive system. It also resolves any problem with timekeeping at work, I'm not permitted to vary the hours we operate to be 8:25am to 3:55pm as I don't have the Authority, but I can specify which clock we use. Nobody else on the island would be likely to notice that we were running to GMT+5minutes, or Roads Time.

The only thing is that I still wouldn't have a reliable clock either in GMT or Roads Time... perhaps I should just stop wearing a watch, like many other people, and go with the flow. inevitably things will still happen, does it really matter if we don't know exactly when?

Today I have been mostly buying Carrots

It's odd, I've been meaning to make stew, but had run out of Carrots. When I first arrived they were plentiful, but recently I haven't really seen them.

Today Star had some, I bought about half, then I went to Thorpes, who had lots, so I got another bagful. When I saw them in Victoria I had to resist, I wonder where they all came from?

Evidence

Just posting some evidence of my Diving, for those of you who don't recognise me - I'm the one in the nice warm coat! as opposed to one of the 10 who were pretending not to be cold.

I would post the photo of me underwater, but I look like a pleb so I won't.

p.s. Darran - good to hear from you, I did respond to your comment.

Various Things

This morning the Scouts did a Basil Read car wash, Basil Read being the Airport Contractor, and some other cars. Washing and cleaning 30 cars inside and out we raised over £350 in 4½ hours towards the Scouts Trip to Ascension later this month. It was hard work; and I spent most of my time keeping records of who had paid, what order the cars came in and then moving them around to get the clean ones out and the next dirty ones in.

Luckily (luckily is, I think, the correct word) it all went ok. We ended up with 4 floor mats out of someone's car, but I'm sure we'll find where they belong. An hour and a half in, one of the first people called by to see how we were doing and we discovered that somehow his truck had been missed! The two either side had been done and the overspray from the hose made it look like his had too, but it hadn't. We asked for another 10 minutes just to 'finish it off' luckily it took him 15 minutes to finish his coffee and when he came back we were nearly done!

Last week, despite being a short week, was a looonnngggg weeek. It feels like I did a full weeks work in 3 days. I think part of this is that I had probably the most stressful incident of my career. Without going into too many details someone has built a bridge over a highway ditch to access their building plot. They have planning consent, but they didn't get highway consent. I had 3 days to consider the matter before making a recommendation to committee on Monday on whether to approve the retrospective application or not. Looking at the design that was submitted to planning it was pretty simple, in the sense that it looked like a bridge, but very few structural details and no structural calculations were included. Despite this I calculated that the overall design was ok as it was one of these 'over engineered' designs.

I then delved a little deeper and started to discover some more things, like they didn't actually use reinforcing steel as it wasn't available, they just used slightly larger normal steel. Hmmm, divide strength by 2, touch and go, but ok. Then I checked the depth of the slab, it's only 80% of what was shown on the drawings, hmmm, recalulate, not a huge difference, but starting to not look strong enough for the big lorries. Then I realised this normal steel wasn't ribbed like rebar is, but was smooth. Hmmm, that isn't allowed, how do I calculate it? Hmmm, change the way I'm doing the calculation, make up a new system based from first principles on how to assess the strength of the steel. Hmmm... not good.

I knew that recommending that the bridge was demolished was not going to go down well. In the end I've gone through the detail and I think I can recommend approval with a few alterations as conditions and a 5T weight limit. But, I'm not saying it's safe, no way!

Bearing in mind that, before Wednesday, the last time I designed a Concrete Slab was at Uni (10 years ago), and even then I hated Concrete Design and ALL my projects used a Steel Frame!

Anyway an easy weekend doing nothing now, except that it's already 5:40 on Saturday!

You Know it's Winter when...

• getting dressed in the morning you check what the weather looks like, and decide not to wear shorts
• you have a coat in the car - just in case
• every time you go swimming you think 'if it gets any colder it'll be too cold to swim in an outdoor unheated pool'
• you have to find your jumpers in the evening
• you know where your heater is
• the shower temperature is above half-way

Yes it's just under a month to mid-winter solstice and it's cold. It's now often -2d during the day (just to clarify a d (or a degree on the dave scale) is equivalent to a C (or a degree centigrade), but with zero set at a sensible temperature. Therefore -2d=18C and -20d=0C. There are F's but I don't understand them, I could explain in K but some readers wouldn't understand that).

It's so cold I've even taken to wearing a coat to work, and not opening all the windows until about lunchtime.

Still, it could be worse, it could be a British Summer!

UPDATE:
It gets worse, some days after deciding not to wear shorts you really wish you had, and then you realise you haven't got your swimming kit with you so cannot even cool off in the pool :(

It's 3 weeks to midwinter and this is the view from my drive:

it's a hard life, but someone has to do it!

Fright of my Life

Ok, so not quite that dramatic, but it was certainly serious panic stations.

Last Monday was a Bank Holiday (St Helena Day). Next Monday and Tuesday are both Bank Holidays. Today is also a Bank Holiday. However in the UK Today would normally be a bank holiday, but isn't this year. it also seems strange having 3 bank holidays on the trot. I've therefore had a nagging feeling all day that actually it shouldn't, and possibly isn't, a bank holiday. This is compounded by various confusion about what days are and aren't bank holidays - 16th April was supposed to be a Bank Holiday (but moved to the Jubilee), and I have a feeling that New Years Day ISN'T a Bank Holiday, which seems daft.

Therefore when, at 10:30 my Boss rings I Panic, I think he's phoning to find out why I'm not at work. I've never had a boss ring me at home before, ever. Luckily it was just an invite to a BBQ not a career ending disciplinary. Phew.

Diving and Dolphins

http://www.sailblogs.com/member/osprey2003/?xjMsgID=123647

OK, so the photo is a cheat, as my camera is not very waterproof, this is a shot of the cave used in James Bond Thunderball, which I've lifted off the web. However this morning I went diving (with my Instructor and 3 from Basil Read) and we passed through an elongated Arch underwater which looked very much like this. It was an absolutely amazing experience and I really really wished I had a waterproof camera. There were a couple of other, smaller, caves which I only looked in - I'm still a bit unsure of myself underwater and didn't want to get into trouble in a cave. Today lasted 47 minutes at a depth of about 12-15m max.

Towards the end of the dive I was running low on air and we had to swim back to the boat, so rather than surface, with our 3min safety stop at 5m we swam along underwater at 5m back to the boat, as the sea floor was about 12m we were about half way down and it was another quite new experience. Normally we're trundling along the sea floor, a little like crawling around the ground; other times we're on the surface - swimming. This time we were mid water and not going up or down, the closest to flying or weightlessness I think you can get J I loved it - forget all the fish people insist upon pointing out (although we did see a cool octopus, an enormous lobster and a big, um, fish?) - I learnt to dive for the feeling of floating effortless with a 3 dimensional space which you can explore.

One thing I was a little gutted about was that the Dive Club had a dive this morning about half a mile from our site, they saw 3 manta-rays, which apparently came up real close, we saw none - luck of the draw. However after the dive on the way back we were followed by a ?pack? of Dolphins - easily over 100 of them - with some making massive leaps really close. I've been meaning to get out on another Dolphin Trip, but not really got around to it, so to see them after a dive was a huge bonus, shame I still didn't have my camera.

One of the most remote inhabited places on the Planet.

Perspective is a wonderful thing. Einstein put it perfectly, I can't remember what he said, but it was perfect I'm sure (c'mon he was a Genius). Something to do with relativity anyway.

St Helena, before I arrived, was the second most remote inhabited place on the Planet, after Tristan da Chuna. By the time I arrived it was the most remote as apparently Tristan is easy to get by comparison.Well now I've been here a while I disagree. I think it's the rest of the world that's remote and difficult to get to, and apparently America is even Inhabited. Besides it's not difficult to get here, just slow, relaxed, peaceful. We label places as 'remote' without ever having been there, what is remote anyway? Compared to a small village in Scotland (lets call it Ballachulish) we have everything: multiple DIY sheds, a Theater, Supermarkets, Countryside (ok no Mountains), a Swimming Pool, Beach, Fishing Community, Yacht Club, Dive School, Police Station, Fire Station, Hospital, Community Centers, Schools, Care Home, Tourist Information Center, Cafes, Pubs, Nightclubs, Gift Shops, Farms, Petrol Stations, Museum, Quarrys, Vehicle Hire, Garages, Hotels, B&B's, Distillery, Churches, Other Faith Groups, Scouts, Guides, Historic Buildings, Camp Site, Courthouse, Jail, Library, Radio Stations all within a 10mile drive. Ballachulish has some, but not all, even adding in Glen Coe, Dura, etc.

You may say things take a long time to get here, but actually time is Relative (was that what Einstein said?). It may be 3 weeks between RMS arrivals from Cape Town, but I have to say it feels like the RMS is always either, here, about to arrive or only just gone. I forget I'm on an Island, I do 'normal' things and nothing seems too exotic or bizarre. I would liken St Helena to an English summer in a remote coastal village where it's really just too much effort to drive up the lane to the main road.

The only really odd thing about being so remote is the caravan at the end of the road, and that fact it took a couple of months to realise just how odd that was.

So what is remote?

A Long Walk in Longwood...

... jokes going wrong and a lack of mobile phones.

For years now I have been punishing Boys who don't listen by giving blatantly false information in response to questions asked for a second, third or fourth time. I am sure that other Youth Leaders do the same (even if you don't admit to it). I normally try to make sure that the answer is so obviously wrong that confusion doesn't arise.

Last night we did a post-box walk with Scouts. This walk was a there and back again at the far end of Longwood, quite a long way (by Road) from Jamestown. I had originally planned to meet the bus at Longwood, but a bad day and last minute meeting in Jamestown at 3pm meant I caught the bus up with the Scouts. On the way we were asked 'where are we going' and 'what are we doing' a few times, When one Boy, who knows when I'm winding him up and who I had already answered once, claimed forgetfulness and asked again I said "we're walking back to Jamestown" I repeated this answer a few times when questioned with a huge grin on my face (those of you who know me well probably hate that grin) and none of the Scouts contradicted me even though at least some of them must have known we weren't.

At this point I feel a need to defend myself against claims of cruelty. (Youth Leaders) Who hasn't, on a trip to Wales or Cornwall, admonished a member of your group for not bringing their passport? Or made the equally absurd claim that "we're walking home" from a huge distance away? or sent someone for 'a long weight' or 'left handed mallet' or ...

Now, here comes the problem, unbeknownst to me, or Paul (the Scout Leader), there is an old historic Route from Longwood to Jamestown. If you know the way it is probably quite walkable in a couple of hours (but it's too far to walk by road). We didn't know this, Simba, the Bus Driver, did and thinking there had been a change of plan duly waited for us at the appointed time, in Jamestown. We proceeded with our walk and were a little surprised the bus didn't show to pick us up, in Longwood.

Obviously we all made it home, eventually. The lack of mobile phones meant we had to walk a couple of miles to find a phone. Then work out a way to contact Simba sitting in his Bus (thank you St Helena Police). Then wait for Simba to drive up from Jamestown. I think I was about 2 hours later home than expected and must have been one of the last ones back.

A final note: it it's a credit to St Helena that nobody appeared to worry. Parents were phoned about an hour and a half after everyone was due home, with no apparent concern (I may find out different next week). We had one new boy who has only been here 5 weeks with Basil Read and at Scouts for the first time, I dropped him home, but his whole family was out. Figuring they may be looking for him we headed towards the Police Station (that's probably the first place you'd go to look for a missing child) and met his family on the way. They seemed perfectly happy that we were so late, although if I'm right then the police may have explained the situation to them so they had recovered by the time I met them.

Postscript: Many people on St Helena have nicknames, some are pretty much only known by their nicknames. Today someone, completely nothing to do with Scouts, called me the Pied Piper, I hope it doesn't stick.

Roads Manager

Well, I've been employed for over 4 months, and nearly been here for 4 months, I haven't blogged much about the roads or the job yet so here it is. Sorry, it's going to be a bit long I think.

The Job is going well, for a given value of Well. Since arriving I was thrown in at the deep end a little. Or a lot. We've almost merged the 2 teams back into one at one depot; this time next week we may have actually started the move. I've already moved office (again) since the photos, but as my new office looks almost identical I won't bother to update them.

We've lost a few staff to Basil Read (the Airport) but have managed to recruit a few, not as many as we wanted, but enough to keep us trundling along. Those staff we have all seem pretty willing to be flexible to do what needs doing and to work together. It's taking them some time to get used to the idea, and until everyone's based together communication is going to be a little odd. Most people seem to be going through a period of Hi's and Low's, but that is rather inevitable with quite big changes happening quite fast, and quite big changes happening very very slowly at the same time.

I've ordered my Sweeper, and a truck to carry and spray the bitumen. We've got a JCB, Dumper, 2x Transits and a Tractor/Flail out to Tender and are firming up the specification for another roller. The sweeper has a 6 month lead time, and the bitumen truck a 4 month lead time. I'm hoping everything else is slightly more 'off the shelf'. Otherwise I could be waiting till next year for some of it.

My time is split 50:50 between trying to sort out surfacing and work and keeping the Politics and Policy running. The Policy is actually further behind than the work, to the point that I don't think people really realise it exists (or needs to exist). We don't have a lot of necessary legislation or policies which a self respecting Highway Authority need. The Highway Authority (which is actually the committee rather than me) are, I feel, too involved with detail to see the bigger picture; however to give them credit they do pick up on things when they're pointed out and I think are going to be glad to move away from detail into principles and policy setting.

At the moment I'm dealing with a major planning application - in as much as I have to make sure we send in comments from the Roads Section. This is the first major planning application since the Airport - and I don't really know if that has actually gone through planning yet. It is clear that the design team for this development do not understand St Helena's roads or traffic (to be fair I think you have to spend more than a week here to do so); they have stated that internationally recognised assumptions don't work so they aren't using them; but without having anything else to base their ideas on they have made other assumptions which are equally as invalid - only they probably haven't even realised it!

I'm also in the process of setting up a website and waiting to get a new piece of GIS software installed. Once we have GIS (basically an electronic map you can draw on) the process of mapping all our assets can start, this is the very beginning of Asset Management and working out what we've actually got to do.

Alongside all of this is the nagging thought that we don't have a surfacing material. Surface dressing is ok for now, but doesn't meet the required standards by itself. On top of this the chip spreading is still being done by hand as the machine doesn't like the chippings - although there is new quarry equipment being setup so this may change... We're currently thinking about running trials with Slurry Seal/MicroAsphalt and Cold Asphalt (like Hot Asphalt, but Cold).

We've just gone through the Annual Appraisal process (many of you will understand where I'm coming from here) we agreed that one of my targets for this coming year would be to sort out the Policies and Processes, but when trying to make it SMART it fell apart. We tried to define which ones I'd do by when, but to be honest we didn't know. In the end I think my target is basically to find out how bad it is by the Spring, but not to actually do anything about it. It's frustrating when a system, which is good in principle, becomes too restrictive to actually allow things to happen properly. I know my target is 'to sort things out'. It doesn't need to be any more than that. I know what it means, my Boss knows what it means, it's just HR and 'Management' that don't.

When DFID were here in January they did a review of all the Infrastructure projects. The report which came back a couple of weeks ago basically says that the Roads project is off track and needs a kick up the proverbial. I'm now in the process of writing a comprehensive review of the Roads Section and Project Delivery. I'm at about 45 pages and only half way through I reckon. Again, this is annoying because I know what needs doing and spending a couple of weeks writing it all down and justifying it is not really a good use of my time. However I do realise that someone somewhere is throwing a few £million into this, so they want some confidence it's being used wisely. Also, it has actually helped me to rationalise some decisions and work on priorities. I now realised quite how much I need that Sweeper, and the Tractor with Flail!

I'm very conscious that there is a Change Management process happening and I'm so far down the curve I've lost everyone behind me who are now beginning to wonder what's going on. Those of you from Devon will probably understand what I mean, even if no-one else does. There is a lot of frustration, because actually, for all my work, we're still basically fixing things the same way we did 10 years ago. I have a few more things to sort, then I need to retrace myself and start the change process again.

All in all, it's quite Hectic. By a Friday afternoon by Brain is Fried (actually by about 1:30 most days my Brain is fried, sometimes I get a second wind about 3:30, sometimes I don't). I go swimming after work a couple of times a week, because (when there are few kids) the pool is quiet underwater and I can relax and forget about work (concentrating on not breathing until my head is above water keeps my brain busy).

I still love my Job, and thank all those of you who have helped me get where I am today - not naming names, but if you think I'm thinking of you then I bet you I am (unless I've never met you, or heard of you or anything, then you're just being delusional, I suggest you see a Doctor).

I've gone Metric because I can't Count

I've realised I need to swim Kilometres because I can't keep count high enough to do a mile.

The pool is 33m long, so a kilometre is 30 lengths, and a mile is 48. Swimming today I lost track by either 6 or 8 lengths and was completely off at about 27 (I knew I'd done an even number but reckoned I was on 27...) I have no hope of keeping anything like an accurate count to 48 lengths so I've decided that if I'm doing lengths for the sake of lengths (like today) I'll set the bar at 30 for a kilometre. Whilst I can't count to 30, I am reasonably confident that I can have a vague idea of when I've done 30.

It's odd, I'm normally good at maths, but when wet it goes completely to pot. With diving you have to talk to your buddy about how much air you have, holding up fingers for each 100bar on the gauge. Sounds really easy, a full tank is 2000bar so that's both hands, twice; and the reserve starts at 500bar so that's one hand. But frequently I'll spend a good time working out how many fingers I need, and then realise I'm still wrong (eg 8 fingers for 700 bar).

Oddly, last week when I dived in a large group I spotted someone else struggling to work out how many fingers to hold up - I was on about 700bar and eventually they seemed to be holding up 14 fingers (which i struggled to believe), but it took a couple of attempts.

I think a key feature for teachers is to make sure the roof doesn't leak - I'm now convinced that water degrades the brain's ability to do maths.

Shooting Scouts

Ok, so not as interesting as it sounds, and nobody got hurt.

Today we went shooting. I've done shooting before, with an air rifle. This was real shooting, with real guns, and real bullets, and real it could kill you. I wasn't expecting that. I was expecting plasticy air rifles and little pellets, this was (by my standards) real sniper territory.

The targets were about 20m away I guess, and we had 6 per A4 sheet so not too big. The rules are 10 bullets per round, and you have to put 2 bullets in each target and the top 2 bullets in each target count. You only use 5 of the 6 on the sheet. Scoring is between 6 and 10, with 10.1 for a bulls-eye, so lowest score is 0 (complete miss) and 101 for 10 bulls-eyes.

In the first round I scored 70, which was second lowest. I would have scored more but I only got 9 bullets into the paper, one not in a target and the last bullet I think went into Paul's Target sheet as he had 11 holes... The next round I had 83, which was a respectable score placing me about 6th out of 9 overall, beating one of the scouts who had done it before. Top score was 179.2 I think.

My excuse was that I struggled to line the sights up with my glasses, so couldn't see properly. It's a lousy excuse I know as even when I could see properly all it was was a black dot in the sight, the difference between a 6 and a 10.1 was wobble rather than aim.

Chocolate is Pointless

Yes Ladies, it is. Especially if it's been nicely moulded into a fancy shape. It melts far too easily.

Amongst many foods available here I am surprised at the availability of Chocolate. Every single Chocolate bar I have bought this year has melted before being eaten, albeit the last one I deliberately melted to put into the cake mix.

In reality it is surprising what foodstuffs are available and what aren't:

• Meat is readily available, although seemingly all frozen this could just be that I don't get to the shops in time to buy fresh (other than bacon). Some 'fresh' meat is actually defrosted for sale I think.
• Fish is readily available fresh. Tuna is probably the staple 'meat' product in the way that Beef is in the UK.
• Dairy products are not available except in long life or defrosted form. Fresh milk isn't available, butter and cheese is frozen to get it here. Yoghurt is occasionally available (in small fruity pots), but as I don't eat it I haven't investigated. Eggs seem to be a mix of local and imported, but could be that some are just in imported boxes.
• Non Dairy alternatives don't seem all that available, although Soya Milk is sometimes around.
• A range of Frozen Foods from the likes of Iceland, Tesco and Asda is available. This isn't a wide range and things like Meat Pie isn't available. Posh Iceland foods are normally reserved for special occasions.
• Tinned/Jarred foods are not as available as you might think. A wide range of tinned ready meals and vegetables, but things like tins or jars of Sauces are limited in variety.
• Tinned meat (corned beef, spam, frankfurters) and tinned fish are more common that you would expect.
• Pasta is available, but in fairly small packets. Rice is plentiful and is something of a staple food.
• Fresh vegetables are limited to Onion, Potato, Carrot and some sort of Cucumber/Marrow type thing which I don't buy. Apparently on a Thursday morning fights regularly break out over the last cabbage or whatever other veg is around. Salad is readily available, but only from cafe's as far as I can tell...
• Fresh fruit is fairly available - apples, lemons, oranges, bananas, green tomatoes, peppers. Not every week, but often enough for me.
• Breakfast cereal is available if you look, but expensive.
• Bread is becoming more available the longer I stay. And now I've found Sliced bread as well!
• Biscuits are everywhere, cake is not. When asked locals point at a bag of flour, and a bag of sugar..

I've come to the conclusion that the staple foods are:

• Sausages
• Tuna
• Other Fish what you caught
• Beef
• Chicken

With:

• Rice
• Rice
• Potato
• Rice
• Bread
• Rice

The national dish is plo (pronounced 'plo', goodness knows how it's spelt, I think it has an A and a U and a W in it, that's assuming there is an official spelling) which is basically rice, with rice and stuff. The Stuff is whatever's available and often consists of veg, meat and bone. The alternative national dish is curry and rice. This is basically plo with more sauce and spices, occasionally curry has less meat and more bone. Neither are found on the menu at any foodery I've been to.

Surprisingly I like both; you don't eat the bone, but it adds flavour and is a good value way of getting meat as the bones have a fair bit of meat on when put in the pot, it just all falls off in the cooking.

The main tourist dish is Fishcakes, probably because they think Tourists would object to bone in a curry.

Living here and eating local food makes you realise what is thrown away in the rest of the world. I recently read on the BBC website: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-17393376 about how they were stopping eating Pink Slime in America. While I started off thinking 'about time' having realised what Pink Slime is it's no different than putting bones in a curry and eating the leftover bits of meat that fall off.

Either way, provided you're fairly flexible in what you'll eat you won't starve. If you're picky then you will, unless you don't come here of course.

Security

When I was on Ascension I went Swimming in English Bay (see post). Before Swimming I hid all my valuables (money) in my Hotel Room, I hid my wallet, watch and hotel room key in the car, and hid the hire car key in my bag, which stayed on the beach, but never left my sight. Having just left the UK and being in a UK frame of mind I felt this was the most I could do, but was still worried about security.

Today I went for a dive. Sorting out all the kit at the Dive Shed I dumped my shorts in the passenger footwell of the car, and my bag on the seat. In my shorts pocket were my car keys, house keys, wallet (with bank details), money... As the car keys were in the car, obviously the car wasn't locked. It didn't even cross my mind to be worried until late this afternoon - next time I'll be a little more security conscious, but to be fair I only need to worry because I've told the world what my car looks like, where I live/work and that I keep my keys and bank details in my unlocked car. If it weren't for this post there'd be no problem!

Why is it that here I can quite happily trust that my car won't be emptied while I leave it unlocked and unattended, but elsewhere in the world paranoia leads the way. I know my car won't be stolen, because it would be found and the culprit arrested pretty quickly. But all my stuff could have gone walkies. Goodness knows enough of my friends/family in the UK have had locked cars broken into on the off chance, with nothing of value being taken, but the contents strewn all over.

What is the world coming to? I hope it never comes here.

Exhausted

After a busy week which culminated in the Public Accounts Committee (like a Scrutiny Committee) broadcast live on the radio I've had a busy weekend so far as well.

Friday evening I was drafted in to make up numbers in a Quiz Team. I did surprisingly well in the first round knowing a number of answers (18 H on a GC type questions), it went downhill from there. The Music Round I understood 2 questions and recognised 2 answers, not to the questions I understood. I think it's about time there was a proper music quiz rather than: who was the person who wrote the song [insert name I've never heard of] that was covered by the [insert band I've never heard of]? Answer: [insert name I've never heard of]

Saturday morning, rather than a nice lie in after a late night, I was down at the Wharf by 8:30. We got on the boat about 9:30 and were underwater in lemon valley by 10 :) This was my first dive since qualifying and I loved it. I used more air than anyone else, surfacing about 300m before the end, but apparently 45min at 16m for a first dive is really good (as you get more experienced you relax more and use less air). There were 8 divers, 3 near novices, 2 experienced and 3 Dive Masters, so the trip had been aimed at beginners with the Dive Masters buddying us.

I would love to post photos, but my camera isn't waterproof to 16m underwater so I didn't take it (my camera isn't even waterproof to 0.00000000000000000000001mm underwater, in fact best not even get it wet in the rain). The dive from Lemon Valley to Red Island didn't have any wrecks (that I saw), but had the most glorious sandy 'beaches', huge numbers of fish and amazing rock formations. If you look at: http://www.malpas.cwi.sh/067.html, but imagine being underneath and looking up at the surface :) you begin to get an idea what it was like.

Having now joined the Dive Club there is a plan to dive most Saturdays, so it sounds like there should be diving opportunities most weekends, between Anthony and the Dive Club, so I can dive when I want to. As I get more experienced (and get equipment) I can also just dive with friends without being part of a larger group.

Anyway, having had breakfast I am now home and shattered, an afternoon with a lazy film beckons.

More Photos

More photos of my house and the views from my house uploaded. goto the house link at www.malpas.cwi.sh
See Google: http://maps.google.co.uk/?ll=-15.94811,-5.722168&spn=0.002061,0.002411&hnear=Jamestown,+St+Helena&t=h&z=19

And now some office/depot photos as well. Also see Google:
http://maps.google.co.uk/?ll=-15.940375,-5.726044&spn=0.002061,0.002411&hnear=Jamestown,+St+Helena&t=h&z=19
although it has been significantly rebuilt since the flyby.

3 Peaks

Yesterday I did the 3 peaks, it took me a day to recover hence posting this blog today.

I don't know what all the fuss is about. Army types do it in about 24 hours I think, I did it in rather less than that. Rather less than 2.4 hours in fact. If I had got lost I would probably done it in just over an hour, but I thought I got lost (when I didn't) and accidentally did one twice, so it took about an hour an a half.

I must stress these weren't any old peaks, they were the 3 tallest on the Mainland: Mount Actaeon (800m), Diana's Peak (820m) and Cuckolds Point (790m, twice).

Ok, so having climbed Mount Actaeon (parking at 650m) I only descended to about 785m before climbing Diana's Peak and then again about 785m before reaching Cuckolds Point. But because I did Cuckolds Point twice I had descended to about 750m before the second attempt. Bizarrely it's so flat I had thought I was still on my way down...

I decided to do a Triathalon (although I'm now told driving isn't an acceptable substitute for cycling) and did a half mile swim in the pool afterwards to cool off. I would call it a Biathalon, but there's no Skiing here...

Photos on www.malpas.cwi.sh later today.

Getting Cold

For the third time since arriving I'm wearing a fleece. And for the first time I've worn trousers (as opposed to shorts) all day on a day off.

It's getting cold. I'm hoping the fact that central heating is a foreign concept (literally) means it isn't going to get much colder.

Mobile Phones

Today I got up early and was at the post office just after they opened at 9am. And my new goggles had arrived  -Thanks Mum :) (I also got the postcard). Stepping out the post office I reached for my mobile to text to say thanks, and it wasn't there. After a moments panic that I'd lost it, I remembered I live on St Helena and mobiles haven't been invented yet. After my swim I went for breakfast, and whilst waiting for it to be cooked I again reached for my phone...

It took me a good few weeks to get used to not having a mobile, especially as every 5 minutes I'd hear the ringtone (my imagination, I think) but I haven't noticed it for a month or more so odd that twice in one morning I went to use it.

I still read the BBC News website (it's strange to see adverts on the BBC) and I wonder whether all this mobile communication is a good idea. I miss good internet connectivity and it is worrying that mobile phones aren't there for emergencies (although we have a radio system with the same coverage problems you get in the Scottish Highlands), but it's relaxing to not have the constant communication that I had in the UK. It makes me wonder whether when I return to the UK I'll change my phone back to contract and/or get one of the new thought controlled phones which project video conferencing directly into your brain (they'll be available by the time I get back I'm sure)...

3 Months

Well the 3 month milestone came and went without me realising. It was only today when I attended my 4th Monthly Committee meeting that today is 3 months since I stepped off the RMS. Wow, time flies - but I feel like I've accomplished a lot. Ok so the roads aren't any better, but that's a detail...

3 months is significant because it's my break-even point. If I quit (or get fired) now I'm not bankrupt, 2 months 29 days and I would have been. I should point out this isn't because I've earn't so much I can retire and live off the interest, it's because if I had left within 3 months I'd have to repay the cost of moving here and find the money to get home; having lasted 3 months at least if they fire me they'll pay the trip home.

But all that is academic as I'm certainly not thinking of quitting, and nobody has suggested they're about to fire me (and my boss is away till mid May so I'm probably safe till he gets back anyway).

I celebrated with a swim in the pool after committee, I think I did about 1/2 mile so that's a start on my fitness regime. While there I bumped into loads of people I know, but they were all under 16; I think I know more adults than kids - but it's a close run thing!

The next milestone is the end of my probation at 6 months, it seems strange as that's 25% of the way through my contract!

p.s. 4 committee meetings in 3 months only works because the first was a week later than usual following Christmas.

My House

Well, it took me all Weekend, and I mean ALL. I finished about 8pm on Monday. But I have tidied and cleaned my house AND FINISHED UNPACKING!!!!

Well, ok I didn't really start till Monday Lunchtime, and I haven't really finished unpacking, just moved the half unpacked boxes so I can't see them anymore...

Anyway, the reason for this post is that I've now uploaded photos www.malpas.cwi.sh of my home so you can all see where I live. I know this is a security disaster as now you all know the house layout and where the expensive stuff is. But seriously: how many of you have the RMS tickets? and is it really worth the effort of getting it all through customs?

Oh and I realise the main image is old and has my hire car - but as you can see from some of the interior shots, by the time I'd got properly organised taking photos today it was dark.

Strangely, having my lounge tidy is quite depressing, I'd got used to the lego all over the floor!

More photos of my 'Fleet' may arrive at some point, hopefully on another website again... Maybe even one day I'll get a real roadsweeper...

Phew

Phew

I sounded quite energetic last night. It was worrying. Luckily it's raining today so I don't feel guilty for not doing anything.

Mind you, if it had been nice I may have been more inclined to get up and going...

Another Lazy Day methinks!


Update 13:00
Half an hour ago I realised it was beautiful sunshine, almost cloudless, so I decided to go for a walk after all. Packing my stuff and driving the 4 miles to the bottom of Diana's Peak it turned from a nice day into grey, cloudy and wet. I changed my mind again and came home. Now it's wet here, I wish the weather would make it's mind up.

Lazy Weekend, So far...

I sit here typing this as it gets dark, knowing that for most of you the evenings are getting lighter, and some of you may even read this today in daylight.

Lazy weekend this weekend - it's nice to have a proper break - 2 days off and still another 2 to go. Yesterday I tried my Saturday routine. Arriving in town the pool was closed so I decided to just have breakfast, but that was closed, and all the shops so I went home and snoozed in the sun... I tried again today and it was better. I was the first person in the pool this morning, the water was absolutely clear and the surface was ripple free (surprising for an outdoor pool), just after jumping off to dive in, as my angle changed I suddenly thought 'help there's no water!' obviously there was, but as I dived in it really looked like there wasn't.

Breakfast was at the coffee shop as the Flamingo has taken the weekend off, I have to say there was more on my plate today, but I do prefer the Flamingo's breakfast...

Another Lazy day today, I had meant to do so many things, but I haven't. One thing I need to do is get fit. I'm seriously considering doing one (or more) of three things tomorrow:

• Climbing Diana's Peak
• Swimming (Snorkelling) to the Papanui
• Putting my bike together and going for a ride

I need to build my leg muscles, as for the 2 open dives I've done so far it has nearly killed me climbing out the water and walking back to the truck with the Scuba Tank. It feels heavy beforehand, but after an hours swim the weight is crippling (I guess the wet wetsuit doesn't help either). I think my Saturday swim is going to have to be a permanent feature as at least I vaguely enjoy swimming. Cycling and walking have to have a point, literally I think as I don't mind climbing hills but any other walking seems rather pointless (puns weren't intended, but hey it's there). Still I have bought the walks book so I can if I feel like it. [I'm hoping I wake up early and feel like doing something as then I may climb a hill and then go for a swim... I'm not so sure about cycling because of the hills...]

Anyway, tea time, so I'm off to cook something and then a Bond Film :) Unfortunately I've finished New Tricks and most of Bond, I've started Spooks now and I'm hoping I won't run out of DVD's before either a. My Birthday or b. they actually get decent TV here!

Anyway, just in case any of you have been feeling wet or chilly today - it's been beautiful sunshine and really quite hot all day here!

Qualified!

Wow, it's been a busy week.

Last Wednesday I had my second Dive lesson (was it really only a week ago)? Then a third on Friday, a fourth (and final pool dive) on Saturday. Monday saw my first open water dive (in the Sea) and I've done my second today. Technically I have missed an open water dive, which I will do another time (I've done all the skills from it), but I'm now Qualified!

Divers keep a log of their Dives - a bit like Pilots do with Flying. I'm annoyed, I've got 97mins logged..

I'm not going diving again for about a month - mainly because my Instructor is going to South Africa to take part in the International Cricket Tournament (he's in the Team), so getting hold of all the kit will be tricky as I haven't joined the Dive Club yet (and I don't know what they have). Hopefully he'll pick up some kit for me whilst he's away, the plan is he'll check what's available, email me details and I'll email him what I want so he can buy it and bring it back. Ideally I'd see it before I bought it, but I don't have that luxury - about the only downside - the next best thing is to get someone who knows to see it for me which is what I'm doing :)

Hopefully my next dive will be mid May when he returns :)

Wet Again

Second Diving Lesson. Great :) :) :)

Feet ache from a lot of swimming in small circles (in the pool), but I definitely like it.

Had to take my mask off underwater for a minute - couldn't see a thing, but did it. I very nearly freaked out to start with, but got it sorted and after another 5 minutes or so I had even got over my wet eyes.

Swimming Again

Swimming with the Scouts again today, but this time off the wharf steps rather than the beach. It was (I think) the first time I've ever been swimming and unable to touch bottom. And I MEAN unable. The deep end of a pool I can touch bottom (ok, I can't breath at the same time, minor detail) here I couldn't touch bottom (ok so I could have done, but I may not have known, and certainly wouldn't be able to blog about it afterwards). I had always thought I would be scared to swim in deep water, but I wasn't (maybe having a dozen kids to watch meant I didn't find time to be scared).

I also hadn't ever really realised how much more buoyant sea water is. I float in sea water (I don't in fresh water, not even slightly).

As you may have guessed I had a whale of a time (pun intended), we swam from the steps (red dot RHS) to 'The Eye' a natural archway (red dot LHS, about 100m away at a guess) where all the scouts climbed out, but they seemed to take forever climbing out... When I eventually got organised and swam over as well I realised that when they climbed up the rocks a bit they seemed to lose their balance and fall back in! It was an epidemic, some seemed to keep their balance for a few minutes before falling, others just got up the rocks and immediately fell. I decided as a responsible adult to investigate, and bizarrely when I climbed out I fell right back in, after waiting my turn of course :)

Swimming back to the wharf I tried to get to the bottom, but way off. However it was great to be able to see the bottom, I'd seen it from the Krystal Clear, but the view was very restricted, now it was great! Using what appear to be superior underwater swimming skills I pretended to be a shark, brushing against legs, a couple of times before getting caught out. Back at the wharf the scouts tried to climb out, but kept on falling back in. I decided not to climb out and investigate as other responsible adults were around and they weren't falling in.

I really need to learn to Dive, and buy a snorkel so I can see underwater more :) and climb up the rocks a few more times (taking care to fall in at varying different places).

Tennis Next Week. I'm not so keen on Tennis, oh well - Rough with the Smooth.

A Bad Habit

I've got into a bad habit, but it's so nice I don't really want to give it up.

On a Saturday morning (or sometimes early afternoon) I travel into Jamestown for a bit of shopping, maybe the bank, a couple of times I've gone for a swim, etc. I've now got into the habit of rounding it off with Breakfast at the Pink Flamingo (http://canyonvsvolcano.files.wordpress.com/2011/07/dsc00198-copy.jpg).

There's something really nice about a Full English in the sun on the sea front watching the world pass by. This is especially the case after vigorous exercise (eg a swim, or carrying a crate of cider back to the car). I rather suspect I'll put on some weight (then my clothes might fit, but that's another story), still I'm not planning to give this up jut yet.

Bizarrely today I was considering forgoing breakfast and just having a coffee, but when I walked up to the counter they immediately asked if I wanted tea of coffee with my breakfast and that talked me into it, again.

I blame my boss, he got me started on this.

 More photos have just been uploaded. Including the Flax Mill and my expedition up High Hill.

In response to complaints that while my photos are nice to look at, my comments are rather inane I've tried to be a little more factual. Unfortunately as I generally don't know what I'm taking photos of I do find this difficult. Any further complaints should probably be made in person :p (that probably counts as inane doesn't it, oh well I guess I'll never change)

Today I went to Blue Hill filming for DSV (my diving lesson got cancelled so I just had a short swim). Unfortunately I got lost, twice. At the far end of the road I found myself near High Hill with some light drizzle. It looked like the drizzle would pass, so I decided to wait and put my webcam away to keep it dry. While waiting I decided to walk to the bottom of High Hill and see how easy it was to get to the top. Once at the bottom the top looked quite close, but it's one of those deceptive hills which keeps on going. Anyway after a few hours of hard climbing I reached the first proper top and got my first glimpse of the east coast. I then proceeded to climb to to the proper top and a few more hours hard climbing saw me there, well it was actually worth the climb as the view was terrific (I know the photos haven't really captured it). Then I had to find my way back down, which was easier said than done as I hadn't come up the most direct route.

It was slightly quicker on the way down and when I reached the car again it had stopped drizzling and I was getting hungry so I headed home (after setting the camera back up) for an early lunch. (0.3 hours is hours, plural, isn't it? - I hope it's grammatically correct!). After that excursion I almost feel ready to climb to the top of High Peak (as opposed to High Hill) it has a more impressive name so should be quite difficult; the bottom is a properly long way from a road, the nearest parking is about 100m from the top!


Anyway, as the photo site says, don't expect too many photos, my landscape shots all seem to look the same and, while I can work them out, I guess you can't so not sure if there's any point in posting more. There may be some other things posted in the next week or two, I have a new project which I'm working on...

p.s. when I re-read these posts before publishing, I keep wondering why I'm taking driving lessons as I can already drive... I don't know why my brain is hardwired to stick in the missing r? Does that happen to anyone else? or is it just me...

Sporadic Internet

I'm starting to get fed up with the internet here. For the past 2 weeks it's been on an off randomly, I thought it was Solar Storms, but there's none of that anymore.

It must be the satellite link, at work I can do email, but there's no internet or international email. Then sometimes if I leave a page open I can continue to use that site, but no others. For ages at work today I could only read a site about lawnmowers (no I wasn't looking at lawnmowers, I was looking for a small Tractor).

Oh well, goes with the territory I suppose.

Getting Wet in Anger

Well I've had my first pool dive, and I hated it, for about 15 minutes. For those of you who have never dived - it's really really weird, breathing underwater, through your mouth. I particularly struggled as I think I had too much weight. I was sinking with my jacket full of air. But once we were suppose to be on the bottom I got used to it and it was great. I need to get my own kit to suit me and it'll be brilliant.

I successfully completed all the tasks, eventually. You're not allowed to hold your breath, which is strange, and really difficult without a mouthpiece (you breath out, not in). Some of you will know I pride myself on being able to swim a length underwater (even here in a 33m pool) so I'm used to swimming around underwater holding my breath without a mouthpiece, but not breathing out (I've done that a few times and it's not good as it's difficult to get back to the surface).

I was particularly please I managed to clear a flooded mask. I didn't think I'd cope with that, but I did it. I had to do it for real when the instructor surfaced below the lifeguard (who was having a swim while waiting for us to go so he could lock up) and I laughed so hard my mask flooded, I was glad I had already practiced!

So many thanks to everyone at Devon Highways who contributed to my leaving present - Diving Tokens :)

p.s. Took the Scouts to Fairyland Flax Mill yesterday, got a few photos and will put them online when I find my camera. I think it's in the car...

Is the Airport Sensible?

I've been surfing the web, as you do, and discovered that a civilian version of the Chinook Helicopter has an extended range of 1400 miles and a normal range of 450 miles. At a cruising speed of 150mph it could relatively easily fly from Ascension to St Helena in 5 hours, refuel and fly back the next day. I'm sure Ascension could service a Chinook (it is an American base) so all that would be needed on St Helena is a Helipad and fuel - sounds a lot cheaper than a giant runway... Especially as I understand a chinook can essentially land on anything so all it really needs is fuel and a shed for Customs and Immigration to wait in...

I also note that a Chinook can carry 55 people (it may end up less with the increased fuel load) - well that seems to be the going numbers for the RMS trips to Ascension so sounds about right, but operating once or twice a week rather than once or twice a month would  bring the tourists in. All that would be needed is to cut the red tape about who can land at Ascension...

I therefore assume that diplomatic relations with the Americans are so poor that we cannot negotiate additional civilian passengers passing through Ascension (it is a British Dependency - although possibly you wouldn't believe it) or there is another reason for building an Airport on St Helena. Or have they just not realised that you can fly a helicopter 700 miles if you put your mind to it. Or perhaps Helicopters are significantly more expensive to run than planes - even allowing for the cost of building an Airport.

I don't know,  but struck me as strange that I haven't even heard it being considered.

Run Away! Run Away!

When I left Devon there were some things I was quite glad to leave behind. Snow Wardens and Winter Maintenance for one, and some others. They've followed me here!

I can't say what, because it's controversial and not public Knowledge, but James, you'd enjoy it. I always expected Exeter to be covered with the stuff, but I never thought Jamestown would get it. The only saving grace is that I'm only being consulted - the responsibility lies with another department entirely. Phew.

Radio Star

I have now become a media star. Well no not really. I was interviewed on National Radio - not Local Radio, nothing so simple National Radio.

Ok, so National means 'small village' for those of you in the UK, but still it was a little daunting. But I lived through it, didn't say anything too daft (as most people know I do like to do from time to time), I guess I was lucky Jeremy Paxman wasn't on Island or I'd have been slaughtered, but the interviewer was actually interested in facts and clarity of information rather than trying to catch me out.

It was a call-in show, although callers were not put through to the show, but I did have to answer some unexpected questions. The only one to catch me out was 'How Much does a Roadsweeper Cost?' well as readers of my blog, know a few weeks back I had as much idea as Bob The Builder about Roadsweepers in general, now I have a much better idea (they're made from Stainless Steel dontchaknow) but I still don't know how much they cost. I wonder if I'll regret saying 80 grand.

Update on Diving

I have passed all my theory and now waiting for Marine Awareness week to end so we can book the pool.